Lovin' You by Minnie Riperton

This is the sort of song that makes you wish for a Communist regime where popular music is outlawed. Apart from being unbearably slushy and sentimental, with really meaningless lyrics (why should loving someone be easy just because they're beautiful? What if they smell bad? Or read the Daily Mail?), it has that horrible bit where Minnie shrieks at such a high pitch that she must attract packs of dogs from miles around. This is non-music. And really not very romantic either, as anyone who was trying to get 'in the mood' would be compelled to stop what they were doing and cover their ears when she hits the high notes. Burn it now! (and I don't mean onto your PC - I mean literally.)

Crap lyric: No one else can make me feel/The colors that you bring

Verdict: Lovin' you may be easy, but killing you would be more satisfying.